Context and Approach  
( The practice is given below)
Post questions and make enquiries via contact us

There is no doubt if you applied your mind persistently to the question “Who am I?” you would conclude that you are not the body, not the thoughts, not the events that you experience. These things are happening and are arising in something, something which is enduring and constant. That something is the power of knowing itself, the power of awareness, which sees all and which lights this instrument through which the world is experienced. It is that power which constitutes I. This is not something to be found it is something, which already is but is not recognised.

One of the obstacles to realising this is the tendency to seek and hunt, look and want and then to commentate on what we find or what we can’t find. This tendency exists as a result of our conditioned nature, our strong enduring belief that I am this person that thinks and acts. Consequently when you sit with this practice, there is an urgency which arises in the mind. It’s a familiar urgency, it populates your days. It’s the urgency of wanting to work it out, of wanting to think it through, of wanting to seek and experience, of wanting to find an answer. The paradox is, that the answer does not come through this route. In the practice of Atma Vichara all of that activity is not the place to apply your interest. All of that activity is nothing other than more thinking and the creation of more concepts. It continues to support the ego and has no hope of transcending it.

The practice of Atma Vichara is unlike other meditations it is more a practice of being than it is of doing. We have to learn to drop the urgency to do and get. In its place we remain alert and attentive to the presence I, to the presence of this feeling I, without thinking about it. To be with it, to stay there, to accept and then, to surrender into that simple presence of being. That is the approach to take.

How To Do The Practice

Sit quietly, relax and become still. Let your attitude become gentle, easy and soft. In this moment there is no doubt that you are aware, it is natural and obvious. As you sit any kind of experience may come into this awareness; sensations in your body, information through the senses, memories, thoughts, moods and feelings. All of these things are the content of mind. They are inevitable; they are part of the play of events. It doesn’t matter what these things are. They can be allowed to rise and fall but let yourself become disinterested in them, don’t follow them with your interest.

Irrespective of what the events are there is something else in this moment, something constant which is here now and which endures perpetually. It is not something new to find, it is something to be accepted as already here. This something is direct, familiar and full; it is all around, within and without, continuous without break or gap. It presents itself as your very centre. It is the peace of the moment, the state of existence, the feeling of being awake, the feeling I exist. The silent presence of being.

Remain steady and pose the question “Who am I?” Ask that question once or twice. Do not expect an intellectual answer. In posing the question, a current of attentiveness is set up which enables you to simply recognise that you are not the body, nor the events, you are closer than that, more intimate than that, existing as the presence of being, the feeling I.

Recognise that feeling, it is the feeling that’s been with you every second throughout your whole life, but to which you have never turned your interest. Turn your interest there now, rest it there and be still with it. Hold your attentiveness in this stillness, with this presence of being. You are not meditating on an object you are not trying to find something you are being the subject. When all things cease this subject remains, when all thoughts subside, this subject remains. Learn to be steady with this, learn to be less and less distracted and to be still with this, attentive and alert.

When your attention drifts, periodically put the question, “Who am I?” again. This brings you back to the awareness of the presence of being. When thoughts arise to disturb you, ask “Who knows these thoughts?” Then again you will recognise they’re appearing within the power of knowing; within the presence of being that presents as the feeling I. It is this to which our attention turns because it is this which our attention is.

Beyond that there is nothing else to actively do except relax, be patient, surrender and with alert awareness consider From where has this feeling I come? You are not thinking about it, or trying to find an answer to understand, you are instead allowing yourself to merge into the centre of your own source.

This is the practice of Atma Vichara.

Be private and persistent in your approach, be very patient, seek guidance to steer you and remove doubts and seek the company of others to support you.

Derek Thorne 2003